one nation under god?

One Nation under God? One nation under God. Which god? The god of ambition, the Internet, porn, reality shows. Which god are we under. This nation was built on freedom to worship as we please. We have used that premise to our advantage. We live with wiccans, atheists, Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, Hindus, New Agers, various Indian ways, star gazers, crystal gazers, etc. etc.. etc. Thank God we can worship whatever we want. That leaves the privilege of worshiping Him open and accessible. We started this country with great ideals, that is nothing to be ashamed of. We started this country with religious freedom in mind,(for the puritans only, apparently) something to be proud of. We wanted the privilege of worshiping the true God. Fantastic. But we also made allowances (eventually) for any one with different few points to able to bow down towards Mecca, a crystal rock, a burning cauldron or a totem pole. Though in the beginning the colonists flogged those with different views, similar to the persecution they fled from. Quakers faced persecution when they migrated to America. The first Friends in the New World came in order to spread their beliefs. In 1656 Mary Fisher and Ann Austin did so, and were imprisoned and banished by the Puritans of the Massachusetts Bay Colony. The first Baptists in America were people fleeing religious persecution, seeking freedom of conscience and religious liberty for all persons. Most did not find it in colonial New England. How can we possible pledge allegiance to one nation under God when we have so many to choose from and can't even agree with each other? It's against our constitution to combine state and religion so we can't possibly define what is meant by "God". When the courts took prayer out of our schools, (we can still pray wherever we want, we just can't do it over the public speaker system) they had to take "God" out of the pledge of allegiance. If we were one nation under God school prayers wouldn't be a problem Even alcoholics anonymous, started by Christians, can't reach people with "God".. They refer to a higher power, what ever we choose to be our higher power. They can't consistently say "God". They just hope that God is understood. Coming to America we thought it our duty to wage a holy war with the Indians. The old testament had the Israelites destroying the pagans and overturning their temples. That was under the letter of the law, under the law of the spirit Jesus's last words to us were, Go into the world teaching them in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost. Where did it mention annihilating them? No wonder the Indians didn't see any difference in our religion compared to theirs. We are a melting pot of idols, melted down and poured into molds of our choosing. We are diverse in our believes and standards. We can't even agree on a president. And once one is voted in we can't back him. Even among Christians there is no agreement. Some believe in a trinity, some don't, some believe once saved always saved, some don't. Some believe in homosexuality, some don't. Some believe in sinless souls, sinful flesh, some don't. Some believe in war, some don't. If they're not against us they're for us, Jesus informed his disciples. It's not important to agree on all the issues. Just agree he's the way, the truth and the life. I'm proud of my country but one nation under God? It doesn't exit. What does exit? One planet under God. We may not all see eye to eye but that isn't necessary for the creator. We are all under his guidance. We are slowly slipping into the fulfillment of His plans. Plans designed centuries ago. They are unraveling like a carpet. No matter what part of the globe you're on. No matter that your country faces east, west, and south or north, you're under God. He's everywhere, he sees everything. He knows everything. Whether you believe he exists doesn't matter. He exists. You'll find out soon enough, not necessarily in time. One nation under God, wrong. One world under God, now that I’ll buy.

Memories

 I put a pen on the shelf by my bed and saw the brush. It was the kind you used shampooing your hair to massage your scalp. It was also the only brush I could use on her. If I came at her with any other brush she'd run, or worse yet if I actually caught her she'd bite me. But with this magical brush she would extend her neck and stick her tongue out as I applied pressure with it to her back. You could almost hear her purr but she wasn't a cat. (At least not in this life, and no, I don’t believe in reincarnation.)

 I cut the treats into thirds. Then I remembered there were only two four legged recipients left. The trio was broken. They had been a trio for thirteen years. The two remaining sets of eyes looked up at me. Why did I pause. "Hurry up and feed us." Their tails wagged fast and furious, they had forgotten her already, or they were stoically bearing their pain.

 I bent over to pick up the towel I dropped and I looked up to her bed. It was empty, except for her blanket. I had expected to see her in it, watching me, waiting for me to open the refrigerator, or reach for a nearby banana. She knew where they were kept, the minute my hand drifted in the direction of food she was off the bed and on her haunches, front paws in the begging position. No one could beg better than her. She did it automatically, I never taught her to beg. I was more than eager to please her, it was fair payment for the pleasure she gave me. She could hear me peel a banana three rooms away and be present in nano seconds.

 I rolled over in bed and reached for her. She wasn't there. I felt around for her, I patted two furry objects, neither one was her, then I remembered. She was sleeping outside, under three feet of dirt, wrapped in two of her blankets. She hated the backyard. We couldn't bury her in the front yard; grave digging at night would arouse suspicions. It's illegal to bury animals on your property. The vet never asked questions when we picked her up at his office the day she fell asleep. He knew our unspoken plans.

 My husband headed for the front door with the two male dogs for the morning walk and asked where She was. It was a habit to make sure she hadn't slipped out the door. (We didn't want her to get lost or hit by a car). A habit built over thirteen years. One we had to stop because we didn't want to remember where she was. (Now she was outside and would never come back in, but she was safe from cars)

She wouldn't go for walks, she'd plant her haunches on the ground and we couldn't pull her twelve pounds of blubber for anything. She did enjoy being carried though; we had a baby papoose we carried her with. What should I do with it now? I don't want to get rid of it. I need it to remind me to cry when I see it. She deserves to have tears shed over her.

 I reach in the cabinet to get my pills and I see her's. There are lots of meds for her. She had allergies, infections, low thyroid, and vitamin deficiencies. She's been cured of them. I no longer spend 5 minutes in the morning doling out her drugs in bananas or other camouflages. I get to work five minutes earlier. I wish I had those five minutes back in the morning; I'd rather be late for work.

 I never want to lose these memories. It's the only way to keep her alive. I plan on filling the hole she left with another puppy. I will love it as much as I loved her, she taught me to love. I don't want the lessons she taught me to be forgotten. I don't want another dog to be abused by falling into the wrong hands, after all, I'm the only person on earth that can pamper a pet just right. I will love again. I'm clinging to her husband and son. They will be following her too soon, but now they are still full of spunk. I try not to picture them lying next to her in the back yard. With life there is hope and i hope they live forever.

VACATION PLANNING

Vacation Planning

I’ve been looking at my friends’ vacation pictures for years now, enviously. I’ve been unable to get more than an hour’s drive away from home for some time now, feeling obligated to my homebound father, despite his constant nudging, trying to push me out of the nest, assuring me he’d be fine. I know full well the extent of guilt I’d feel if anything happened to him and I was unavailable, off somewhere having fun. Ever heard of survivor’s guilt? Well I had it in reverse, in high doses.

Well, my excuses have been voided now, since dad passed away in my arms, just as I had prayed for. (Not the dying, but my being present when he met Jesus.) I still believe dad died on purpose so I could get on with my life. Never mind he was eighty five and ready to go, having lost all friends and contemporary family members not to mention they removed the Hallmark Channel from his cable lineup! Personally I saw no reason for him to not reach ninety. He pissed me off not listening to me and giving up; just wait till I see him again!

Well after that digression I need to get back to the subject matter, vacations. Now that I was free to be guilt free I no longer had to take second hand vacations through my friends experiences, I could actually take some on my own! Since dad died I started putting money aside from every paycheck earmarked for future excursions.

My first trip had to be simple, close to home still, within driving distances. I know, Maine and Washington State are all within driving distance, not to mention Canada and Mexico, but I mean someplace I could get to in a day and back if necessary. I was feeling a little anxiety attack coming on, like a high school student might feel going off to college, far from anything familiar and safe. I wasn’t aware of how neurotic I was, I knew I was neurotic, just not how much!
Somehow I hit on San Antonio. Five hours from home. It held lots of attractions, Sea World and the Natural Bridge Caverns for starters. Sounded do-able. I googled the area for weeks with mounting excitement and enthusiasm, wishing dad were here to go with me, knowing he’d never have agreed to it, he had too much baggage; walkers, feeding tube supplies, oxygen canisters, etc., etc. Then came his list of aches and pains that would cover too many pages to catalogue. I could almost hear his raspy weak voice, “Go on, I’ll be alright.” I looked over my shoulder to see if his spirit was floating around! Sometimes I felt when he was alive he had just wanted to get rid of me and my constant surveillance! Well, tough! So sad, so sorry.

Next I had to decide who to take with me; I wasn’t brave enough to go on my first trip solo. If my husband came I would have to get a pet sitter; not a problem, just an added expense. He didn’t seem keen on the idea so I eliminated him from the list, without encouraging him to change his mind. I couldn’t extend the offer to my son, his wife and my daughter, that would be too expensive, not to mention crowded. Plus, my daughter in law and son worked and I assumed they couldn’t get off, good defense. I narrowed it down to just my disabled, unemployed daughter and she agreed to the all-expense paid trip, she’s disabled, not stupid.

I called Sea World to make reservations, I wasn’t quite savvy enough to figure out the web site and I wanted to avoid any mistakes,( that’s a first for me, by the way, since my mistakes usually out number my good judgments!) They hooked me up with a motel and two tickets. I spent more days googling Sea World and its attractions and made reservations for two please, (on my own this time- pat on the back) for some quality time with the penguins and whales. Then I looked up the motel and its amenities getting an idea of the accommodations with more mounting anticipation. This looked like it was really going to happen in my lifetime.

Of course I explored the web site for the Natural Bridge Caverns also, disappointed on the limited photos available. That would be our first stop on day one of our trip.

I got out my GPS and charted my course, getting familiar with the easy route. How hard could it be, it was a relatively straight shot from here to there? Plus my GPS had a pleasant voiced tour guide so I didn’t have to view the map as much as follow directions!

I started packing close to departure time crossing things off my list as they made it into my luggage. Tooth brush, shorts, camera, reading material for at night, DVDs, CDs for the car ride, my PC, confirmation tickets, underwear (why are you shocked I mentioned underwear, everyone knows they need clean underwear on trips!) I just hope I don’t forget my camera to prove to my friends I honestly left home.

The day finally came, or should I say the morning finally came. I was up at four and at my daughter’s at five to find her outside and waiting for me just as I had planned; Surprise! And off we went into the wild blue ….er. …. pitch black horizon.

Natural Bridge Caverns was …exciting, once I got past the fear of going down 185 feet into a humid, wet, dark hole in the earth with eighteen stories of rock and dirt above our heads. Sure I knew what a cavern was before I got there, but still the tour guides description and warnings before we descended sounded like they were intended to scare off the paying guests, i.e. if anyone had claustrophobia, breathing, balance or heart problems they were advised to forego the tour. I scrutinized the group, some were much older than I and so I refused to be intimidated. If they could do it, so could I!

Inside the cavern there were narrow passages, big gaping holes into nowhere and formations given names like The Mount of the Landlord and The King’s Scepter. And a very steep thirty five step stairway at the end (the only outlet, no escalators, elevators or gulf carts,) that led to the clean open air world, which was convenient as we were all gasping for that nice clean air when we exited.

The next day, Sea World day, our scheduled plans were cancelled due to heavy thunderstorms complete with lightening and fast winds. You’d think a park that runs on water activities wouldn’t let a little terrain altering thunderstorm cause it to shut down! Talk about disappointment, we had to reschedule for the following day and kill time which we did well by getting lost and a flat tire. The tire turned out to be my most expensive souvenir, and at least it came with a warranty and we got to meet a very nice tow truck man who guided us to a tire shop, something not listed in the regular tour brochures. If he hadn’t been covered in grease, tar, sweat and tattoos of naked women I’d have given him a kiss and hug!

At last we made it to Sea world,(after waiting in line with hundreds of kids in matching t-shirts on field trips) and it was stupendous; we touched dolphin, held penguins, watched sea lions perform, got kissed by whales, yes, kissed by whales, walked long distances, stood in long lines for food, ignored gift stores (till the last five minutes- I wasn’t about to carry a stuffed whale that was bigger than a 5th grader around a hot park all day long); and of course the grand finale was seeing Shamu in his show Believe.

We all gathered around the center stage …er..pool… and waited eagerly for the great Shamu to make his grand entrance, and what a grand entrance it was. In came the great black and white mammal to oohs and aahs. In he came, swimming around in circles till he spiraled straight up into the air and nosedived back down spraying and splashing everyone near the front. Up and down and all around he swam doing acrobatics to music and our immeasurable delight. Majesty in action, well worth the wait. I highly recommend going just to see this mighty animal perform, but if you sit up front bring an umbrella and wear a slicker! He even plunked himself up on a platform to be near his trainers who looked really small next to him! I mean they looked really small.

The saddest part of the experience was packing to go back home to my dull routine but as we all know nothing lasts forever….or does it?

There’s another expedition I’ve been looking forward to, a group experience, one I’ve been anticipating for years, in fact decades. I have no scheduled time for it, it will be a spontaneous adventure, not marked on any date on the calendar though some have made bold guesses and were obviously sadly mistaken. I don’t even know if I’ll be leaving in the morning, afternoon or night. I’ve been thoroughly researching it but no pictures of the area are in existence, just printed descriptions that I understand are rather inadequate.

The trip has been already paid for, I have a standing reservation and I don’t have to limit who I invite to go with me. I can invite all my kids, friends, neighbors and strangers up the street. I don’t have to pack for it because nothing materially I have will survive the trip. I won’t need a camera because it won’t be necessary to prove to anyone I genuinely went there, nor will I need clothes, (no it’s not to a nudist community, we’ll be provided with clothes on our arrival!) What luggage I will need I’ve been air mailing ahead, hopefully little items daily. It’s not within driving or boating distance but it’s within flying distance, though not by traditional means. I won’t suffer an anxiety attack making preparations and I certainly won’t need a GPS; what exhilarating freedom to know I won’t get lost because the lost aren’t coming; so sorry, so sad (they’d been encouraged to accept the invitation but declined!) Their future trip will be more like the Natural Bridge Caverns without the last minute offer to bail out and with more intense humidity, heat and depth: the exit will be blocked; so sad, so sorry.

And the grand finale? It will essentially be the opening act, also
entitled “Believe” as that was the only way to get an invite to the awesome event! On arrival at our destination we’ll all gather around the main stage where in hushed silence we’ll await the arrival of ….Our blessed Lord and Savior; our host for all eternity. Then we’ll all burst out into singing and praising that will last longer than recorded time! There will be no thought of returning back to our old homes and dull routines because this vacation will last forever! The truth being this journey on earth is the temporary voyage and we’ll just be going home, at last.

Oh, and about seeing my dad again, I doubt I’ll remember being angry that he died too soon (again, at the grand age of eighty five) once I get caught up in the moment of being reunited with him, mom, my grandmas, grandpas, great grandmas, great grandpas……..ad infinitum. No more sadness, no more sorrow.

MATH 6:19-21
ACTS 4:12
1 COR. 2:9
EPH. 2:7-10
COL 1:9-14
HEBREWS 11:13
1 THES 4:13-18
REV.21

dieting

Dieting


Well I've gone on a diet and actually lost down to 160 from 210.(At least
that's where I think I started, I never got on the scales at the doctor's
office no matter how much the tech pouted that it was her job to weigh me, "you
don't need my weight for a pap smear." When I was going for my gastric reflex the doctor's advice among other things was to lose weight. A heavy girth
pushed on the stomach contents and made things worse. The doctor would
snip, "Of course, I can't tell you how much to lose because I see you refused
to get weighed." "I'm sorry, I thought you went to medical school, can't you
visually assess that I'm fat. I can't hide it so if you can't see it maybe I
need a new doctor." "What do you see as patient accountability in this
process?" he would ask. "I'm accountable enough to fill the prescriptions I
come here for. I think that's enough!" For some reason he dismissed me as a
patient.

I was hoping no one would discover I was dieting because the pressure of
continuing to eat right is tremendous. You start shedding pounds and everyone
gets involved. When I observed no one did notice I started shouting,"What's
wrong with you guys, can't you see I've lost weight!" (so I don't know what I want, is that a surprise?") Now everyone is calling me skinny. Give me a
break. I'm still 20 pounds overweight. They have me feeling so good I might
just stay here for a while. I fit back into my "newest" old clothes, the ones I
bought when I said I wouldn't buy anymore clothes till I lost some weight. Now I have bargaining power on both sides of the fence. Of course I'm a little
jiggly from the lost mass that cushioned my skin from my muscles (I used to
wiggle when I walked, now its jiggle, wiggle, jiggle, wiggle) so to rectify
that I wear my pants a little tighter to firm up some so I can't go out
anywhere that requires sitting.(Don't ask how I sit behind the steering wheel,
ut think "indecent exposure".

I'm often asked how I lost weight.(Losing weight is another topic
altogether, loosing implies you want to find something, I sure don't plan on
advertising in the lost and found section of the paper for it.) I have to
answer the question with another question, "How do you think I gained
weight?" "By over eating and not exercising." "Okay, duh, then maybe I lost
weight by reversing that process!" Why do people always assume you've
discovered some magic formula? You mention dieting and exercise and the subject
changes to the weather. I am not going to read a book to slim down. I got fat reading, reading menus, cookbooks, eating for two coupons, etc. etc.

When I sit down to lunch I drink my slim fast and drool over the chewable food
of my dinner partners. They in turn offer me some from their plates. Hey,
thanks for the help. These nursing professionals obviously have no concept of
the purpose of slim fast. "Is that all you're having for lunch, here try some
of this." Get behind me Satan, (no really, push your pitch fork in my back and
make me eat!!!) I want to honestly yell, "the devil made me do it!!!" No.
No, I’ve come this far. Let's see where I'll end up. Maybe I'll get so thin
people will ask, “May I have your autograph Miss Robert's, I'm a big fan of
yours." (I know losing weight will also make me look twenty years younger and
taller, so shut up!) If we lived in the 60's the stress would be over, Marilyn
Monroe was no bean pole. I'm not overweight, I'm just out dated, maybe my size
will come back into vogue. Then there is always someone at the lunch table at
work that steps in when they see me reach for the last cookie. "You don't need
that." Where were they when I was getting fat. It didn't bother them that I ate
it then, now when I have withdrawals they open their mouths,(to put the food
that I don't need in their pie holes! if I don't need it, why do they). For
dieter’s withdrawals means withdrawing food from someone else's plate when they
step away from the table for a second, being careful to not chew in front of
them, remember slim fast is liquid, what would I be chewing? If I could pick
pockets as good as I pick plates I could retire.

Shopping is a task. I go with blind folders on past the candy, chip, bread, and
soda sections. (I get badly bruised hitting other carts in the process, whose
owners are on cell phones and not paying attention to where "I'm" going). After
grocery shopping I look like I was the looser at a karate tournament. Have you
noticed how many labels say sugar free but omit the fat content? My daughter in
law offered me sugar free peanut butter cups. Great, 170 calories from fat, but
no sugar. And the foods I over eat are now in 100 calorie bags. That’s
preposterous. Now I have to eat five bags at a time to get a single serving, not
cost effective.

I get discouraged when I see I've only lost 50 pounds in eight months. I acquired it faster than that. Then I start the calculations. Fifty divided by eight is about 6.25. That means only six lousy pounds a month. That disheartens me. I'll never get the rest off in time to wear my thongs this season (bathing suit, not foot wear). Then I proceed to multiply six pounds times twelve months and get seventy-two. (I know that's right, I'm using a calculator.) Okay, if I were to gain seventy two pounds a year I'd have go up from 135 (my lowest known weight) to 351 in three years. So I say, "Self, (I'm the only one that listens to me) maybe losing six pounds a month is pretty darn good". I'm so glad my parents sent me to that red building with all the books to learn reeding,
riting, an rithmetic. And I thought they did it just to get me out of the house
and away from the kitchen.

I know it's a fad to wear loose clothes, especially pants but I don't get it.
Mine are getting real loose and I need both hands to break the fall if I trip
over them. How can these kids go around holding up their pants with one hand
and cell phoning with the other? At least it cuts down on crime, they can't
tear themselves away from that important phone call so if they reach for a gun
with the other hand their pants fall, and we all know how hard it is to run
with your pants wrapped around your ankles. (I know this because the phone
always rings when I'm in the bathroom!)

I'm so glad I didn't thin my closet out too much. It's a real delight to fit back into something I wore two years ago. Loose fitting tops are okay, they won't fall off but bottoms are another story altogether. Most of my pants are drawstring, (I anticipated the weight to go more up than down,) so I just draw the string tighter , now I look like one of those balloons, tight in the midsection and puffed up everywhere else. The crotch hangs down to my knees but at least I don't need two hands to hold them up. The trouble here is with room to grow it makes me want to refill. I won't buy more bottoms till I stabilize!!

Exercising is a challenge. I get on the treadmill and my new puppy wants my
attention. She stepped up behind me and got the surprise of her little life.
She only did that once however. As I trot along she snips at my shoelaces. (I
have to stop every five minutes and retie them, combining cardiovascular with
stretching.) When I lie down to do sit ups this little face melds with mine so
you can't tell us apart. Her little body straddles my neck and her tail goes
ninety to nothing. Imagine doing sit-ups with nine pounds on your trachea and a
wet tongue washing your face and a tail dusting your legs (that part feels
kind ‘a good, if I could just get her to do that to my back.) She is so helpful
when I get dressed. She attaches herself to my pant legs and I do leg lifts
with the extra nine pounds. Ten on each leg. Unfortunately my pant leg hems
look a little frayed now. Mopping is great exercise. Place mop on floor,
swirl, attract dog, swirl with nine pound mop head making big circles till dog
swaggers away. Or play dodge mop. See how much you can clean before dog teeth
clamp on to mop head. I never score high on this game and I've lowered myself
to dog level slipping on the wet floor getting more tongue in my face that I
need. I believe dogs invented French kissing.

Now that I've spent a life time with weight problems going up and down the
scales I pray that life over the rainbow won't be so complicated. I hope that Sanders guy has learned to bake chicken instead of deep frying and Mrs. Baird and Mrs. Smith have eliminated pastries from their shops. And I hope Betty Crocker brought her heart healthy recipes with her. Please, I don't want to see a Pizza Mansion on every corner, (there will be no huts in heaven). I also hope my cup that over flows isn't filled with slim fast. If flying is another exercise gimmick I'll be the first in line at the motorized cloud store. I guess we'll just have to weight (wait) and see. Now that I think of it, those loose robes might be concealing more than our spirits, but who cares, without gravity maybe we'll all weigh the same, we are supposed to be equal up there.

a dieters world

A Dieters World

The world is against us dieters. There is no escape. We are all victims of
sabotage. Try cutting back on your calories. It's nearly impossible. Sometimes I go down to the cafeteria at lunch time. I work in a hospital, so I expect to see healthy food. And there is actually a splendid salad bar...past the pizzas, fried chicken strips with French fries and taco salads made with sour cream, guacamole, cheeses and fried beef, hot dogs, and chili dogs, oh my. Now, I got overweight because I couldn't go past these greasy delectables, no willpower.

They were closer and quicker to get to, the salad bar being at the very back, but it also had the smallest line. And at the cash registers, snacks, chocolate chip cookies, pound cakes and muffins for those who did have the will power to pass them up in the food line. They wear you down till you can't take it anymore. Now, to avoid the cafeteria I bring Slim fast to work. I also bring raisin bran for breakfast, throwing some fruit in the mix also. So what can trip me up next? Sales representatives bringing donuts and bagels with different flavored cream cheeses into our lounge, our private sanctum, to entice us to listen to their spiel on their fantastic products. Our bosses conspire against us also. They bring goodies to the monthly staff meetings. Come on, we're in the health profession, diabetes, high blood pressure and (gasp) obesity run rampant through our ranks! Walking down the sacred hospital corridors I pass many offices with candy jars in them.

These are magical candy jars, they start calling my name the closer I get. I'm invited to help myself. The owners don't eat the confections, they just harbor them for unsuspecting innocents that are slammed with guilt right after the last ounce has descended down their throats. I'm signing up for the
witness protection program and getting a new name. Then come celebrations. I had a birthday/anniversary weekend at a fine resort. What is in abundance? Good food, candy stands, more good food, more candy stands, next to clothes stores with size three outfits. No one was buying them because we were all size 18's and 20's(all numbers are fictional and any resemblance to real life is coincidental). Then there were wineries galore. We toured three of the eight vineyards complete with four ounce samples of fermented beverages and yummy treats. After the first winery I gave my wine tickets to my spouse. He looses weight easily, (if you consider 50 mile bike rides almost daily easy) I'm not about to go that far to loose a few pounds. I've done pretty well so far. I'm down to the last size clothes I wore before I super sized, we're not talking small or medium, heck, we're not talking about it at all, I'm just glad I didn't throw them away. I don't get on scales though because I don't want to be disillusioned. I actually didn't feel over weight, I thought I looked great until .... I got a picture of some obese dough girl and realized it was me! I am not about to get a book on weight loss. I'm an educated person. I know what got me fat (overweight, obese, what's the politically correct word?). I actually got fat reading,(well in reality it was the snacking that went with the reading that did it.) The only thing you loose buying diet books is money while some one else gains dineros. I will only read short hints in magazines and papers. I started cutting back on things. I actually only had to eliminate one item from my diet...food, but I resolved to start with just sugars and breads, chocolates, fats and salt. I feel better without all the sweets in my system, I don't feel like sludge is flowing through my veins. I have more energy so even if I don't take part in marathon bike rides I get on my treadmill more. My family is in collusion against me. I have two sisters-in-law, two brothers-in law, a mother in law and numerous nieces and nephews. What does this mean in calories?

Monthly, if not weekly birthday parties, anniversaries, weddings ect, ect. If you don't get a slice of chocolate cake they want to know why, you say you're dieting, they say one piece won't hurt you. No, but one slice twenty times a month with ice cream will. (I started telling them I had cake when they weren't looking.. WARNING: dieting can lead to lying!) It's just easier to gain weight. Go with the flow. Buy new, larger clothes regularly. Enjoy your weight. Eat drink and be merry then get buried. Give up the fight? I refuse. I don't want to die young, please help me!!! Our father who art in heaven, don't give me today my daily bread. Forgive us our weight and we'll forgive our tempters. Do not lead us into sweet temptation and deliver us from the devil's food cake. Amen.