The Married Jesus

I guess we can be thankful that Mr. Brown made Jesus a married man instead of
an adulterer or fornicator. If he had children they weren't bastards. Jesus’
claim to fame was his sinless ness making it possible to be a perfect sacrifice
for our sins. Marriage and having children in wedlock were honorable. At least
he wasn't shacking up with Mary Magdalene. This made her following him and a
group of men more respectable. So if he was married he was sinless, (unless of
course, Mr. Brown's line of reasoning is that giving into the temptation of
marriage was a sin, making us all sinners, if so I'm ready to repent)
Apparently Mary and Jesus agreed
on everything. There didn't seem to be any marital discord. No spousal
arguments over finances or sex are mentioned. These things would have been
under public scrutiny. She didn't ask Jesus if she could have the check book,
she let Judas carry it. He didn't fuss at her about wasting money on expensive
oils to wash his feet. He wasn't stingy. No fights about toilet seats left up,
or bras over the shower stall. She didn't whine about not having a permanent
home or him not getting a steady job.” You’re a carpenter, can't you just preach
on weekends like everyone else!" She supported his campaign to announce the
kingdom of God. Unlike Job's wife she didn't tell him to stop praising God for
his upcoming death. She didn't say, things like, "Think about me, don't go.
Sinners aren't worth your dying for when you have me". Or, "I can't raise a kid
by myself!" She stood behind her man(or knelt in front of him when she had to
wash his feet). She didn't complain about his staying out late all night with
the boys in prayer,(she didn't say, "Sure, that's all you did last night, I
smell wine on your breath!). She let him go on his fishing trips without
grumbling. He didn't accuse her of cheating on him with one of the twelve and
she wasn't jealous of his friendship with Mary and Martha(apparently two
unmarried women living with their brother, they must have been awfully
ugly).They didn't have in-law problems, she had the perfect mother-in -law and
she wouldn't dare complain about her father-in-law! He didn't quiz her about
her activities when he came back to the camp ground. They didn't talk about
each other, (this is obvious from the lack of information about them in the
bible) He didn't expect her to cook for all his friends. The last supper was
prepared by the disciples(Luke 22:12-13). They obviously weren't Baptists
because she was sitting at the table with him. (p.s. The painting wasn't taken
from a photo.) Baptist women serve the men first and eat in the kitchen
afterwards. She stayed with him as he died. Most men whine when they have a
cold and drive us wives from the room. He didn't. She referred to her husband
as "Lord", (John 20:13) when looking for him on that first Easter Sunday so she
had the right perspective of who wore the pants in marriage. He looked for her
after he rose so he wouldn't be in the dog house for going to see the guys
first (dog houses back then looked like caves with stones rolled in front of
them) . Great love there. She was number one in his life, (after God and the
rest of the world.) And her love for him was so great she never remarried. How
could she find someone better than Jesus. Oh, wait, you couldn't remarry as
long as your spouse was still living or does a three day intermission null and
void a contract?
So if Jesus was married it was a perfect marriage. Thanks Mr. Brown for not
trying to look for the marital dirt.

The Jones'

Does anyone know the Jones'? I've been looking for them diligently. I've
googled them, people searched them, sent up smoke signals for them. My next
step is to hire a private detective. I've got to find them. I've reached my mid
life crisis and I need to get some first hand advice. By all accounts
something has to be missing. I have to find out what the Jones have that I
want. I'm out of the loop. What new gadget have I missed out on. I'm too
content with what I have. I have a T.V in everyroom(some no bigger than my
head, okay, maybe that comparison isn't the best), a pool that I blow up,(I'm
not a terrorist in training, it's a pool you fill with air) a car to get me
places, (it should have a taxi sign on the roof as many people as I tote
around), I have a house that is two years from being completely mine.(Yippee,
I'm going to have an old fashion morgage burning), My two kids are grown and on
their (well at least not under my roof). I have a cell phone, computer,
pda.ect. ect. ect. I have a wonderful job, I'm satisfied with my paycheck, it
pays the bills with something left over (I usually buy gum with the change) I
have all the clothes I require,(I'm never naked, my friends take up a
collection to assure this never happens) The clothes in my closet cover all my
weight ranges. The outfits for my thin self are being eaten by moths however,
when I get back down to those sizes I'll probably have to tell people they are
crocheted one of a kind items. What is missing? I must have a deficiency of
something. I'm always hearing that I have to keep up with these Jones'. If they
set the standard I desperately want to locate them. (I want to have standards,
that is all I seem to be lacking).I hear they have the perfect house (one that
doesn't need repairs and has room for everything,) perfect job (one that they
are indespensable at), perfect husband,(looks like Fabian so be careful, all
the other women want him too), perfect kids(always say yes m'am, no sir and
never ask for money), perfect car(never needs maintaince and never gets a
speeding ticket), perfect boats (accomadates all their friends they want to
impress), perfect bodies (these are bodies they hire to train them to have
perfect bodies!) None of the Jones' I've encountered yet fit the content
category, they aren't satisfied with what they have. Perfect is never good
enough for them. They keep leaning out of the carosal to reach for the
unattainable gold ring. They are trying to keep up with someone else, another
Jones. So there must be an ultimate Jones I haven't run across yet. Please,
step forward if you're the perfect, at the top of the heap Jones'.
As for me,I'm convinced I'm delusional. I feel perfectly content with what I
have and only replace things as they wear out. My husband had better be
careful.

cancer

As a medical professional I'm not allowed to judge my patients but still as a
person I'm allowed to have opinions, and here's mine....I had a patient
recently with breast cancer that had spread throughout her body landing in her
lungs. Why? She felt the lump in her breast a few years ago but didn't want to
worry her family because of their history of breast cancer. That makes sense
to me. Don't get treated so they can watch you die slowly. No worry there. They
would much rather yell at her for not seeking early treatment that could have
halted the progression of the illness. Let them be angry at you, that's much
better than worry. Anger is active, worry is passive. Don't listen to the
warning signs from those that went on before you. Let their lives mean nothing.
Don't learn from them. When you meet them on the other side I'm sure they'll be
glad to see you. You'll be close enough for them to kick your angelic little
butt. If my daughter ignores signs of breast cancer to alleviate my anxietry
and I get to watch her gradually be eaten alive with cancerous cells I'll
surely thank her for considering my emotions, (after I kill her).

So many people beat the disease now with early detection. It's not the last word. My
mother died of breast cancer after a six year battle and I refuse to pass my
annual breast exam, I learned from her to be watchful. She didn't keep her
discovery a secret. She wanted us to be there for her. If her's had been caught
earlier she might still be with me today, (but she'd be pretty darn old). It's
to late for my patient but I hope the rest of her family has learned to listen
to their bodies and get annual check ups.

I work in a female laden profession and I've seen many develop various cancers
from breast, colon, pancreas and ovaries. We have many five year survivors and
lots more in the race. In case you didn't know, that's good. In fact I can't
think of a single cancer death! There are approximately eight breast cancer
survivors in the department, one of which is a man, yes men have breasts under
that chest hair. The lady with ovarian cancer was pushed by her significant
other to get examined. She is over one year post op and engaged, and boy, did she get a big rock, and it's not over her grave! She can hold her head up with pride but I'm surprised she can
hold her hand up. He stood by her the whole way. Her only concern was loosing
her hair. Get over it. Hair grows back. Life doesn't.(It may be eternal but not
eternally carnal) There are many fashion statements to be made with short hair,
and bandanas. We were jealous of her scarve wearing talents. I told her I was
going to get my head shaved in honor of her but she wouldn't let me be a copy
cat. She wanted to hoard all the compliments and attention! Her boyfriend was
more worried about her not getting treated. Ask him how he would have felt if
she wanted to spare him worry!

The colon cancer colleague was in her mid 60's, retirement age, when she received her diagnosis. She had her surgery and worked another 10 years till we forced her to retire so she could enjoy life. She is still alive.

There are success stories. Listen to them. Don't waste the lives
of those that warned you of your family history. Let your family and friends
worry about you, then let them rejoice with you when your battle is won!! I
work with a lady that is one year past pancreatic cancer. That is significant.
My own father is 15 years past a radical head and neck procedure done for
tonsil and tongue cancer, most die the first year.

Again, I can't stress it enough. Worry your family. Let them badger you all the way to the survivor celebration banquet. They'll be glad you did and no one will be waiting to kick
your butt on the other side. This is just my opinion though, ask your families
what theirs is.