The Jones'

Does anyone know the Jones'? I've been looking for them diligently. I've
googled them, people searched them, sent up smoke signals for them. My next
step is to hire a private detective. I've got to find them. I've reached my mid
life crisis and I need to get some first hand advice. By all accounts
something has to be missing. I have to find out what the Jones have that I
want. I'm out of the loop. What new gadget have I missed out on. I'm too
content with what I have. I have a T.V in everyroom(some no bigger than my
head, okay, maybe that comparison isn't the best), a pool that I blow up,(I'm
not a terrorist in training, it's a pool you fill with air) a car to get me
places, (it should have a taxi sign on the roof as many people as I tote
around), I have a house that is two years from being completely mine.(Yippee,
I'm going to have an old fashion morgage burning), My two kids are grown and on
their (well at least not under my roof). I have a cell phone, computer,
pda.ect. ect. ect. I have a wonderful job, I'm satisfied with my paycheck, it
pays the bills with something left over (I usually buy gum with the change) I
have all the clothes I require,(I'm never naked, my friends take up a
collection to assure this never happens) The clothes in my closet cover all my
weight ranges. The outfits for my thin self are being eaten by moths however,
when I get back down to those sizes I'll probably have to tell people they are
crocheted one of a kind items. What is missing? I must have a deficiency of
something. I'm always hearing that I have to keep up with these Jones'. If they
set the standard I desperately want to locate them. (I want to have standards,
that is all I seem to be lacking).I hear they have the perfect house (one that
doesn't need repairs and has room for everything,) perfect job (one that they
are indespensable at), perfect husband,(looks like Fabian so be careful, all
the other women want him too), perfect kids(always say yes m'am, no sir and
never ask for money), perfect car(never needs maintaince and never gets a
speeding ticket), perfect boats (accomadates all their friends they want to
impress), perfect bodies (these are bodies they hire to train them to have
perfect bodies!) None of the Jones' I've encountered yet fit the content
category, they aren't satisfied with what they have. Perfect is never good
enough for them. They keep leaning out of the carosal to reach for the
unattainable gold ring. They are trying to keep up with someone else, another
Jones. So there must be an ultimate Jones I haven't run across yet. Please,
step forward if you're the perfect, at the top of the heap Jones'.
As for me,I'm convinced I'm delusional. I feel perfectly content with what I
have and only replace things as they wear out. My husband had better be
careful.